Can we un-normalize men having multiple partners? or better still, normalize the idea for women too.
There are many issues of social justice and gender inequality that should be up for discussion in this book but let's just dive right into the central theme of the book_ African Marriage and the culture of polygamy in African society.
I'm African and I've seen first-hand what many women in polygamous homes go through but reading about it and knowing it actually plays out like this is disturbing. The double standards, the pomposity, audacity, and covetousness of in-laws. This book is another reminder of how oppressive African marriage can be for women, even when you're getting married to a supposedly "modern" man.
The height of the double standards is ridiculous. It's a norm for men to have two wives but the thought of a woman even hypothetically having two partners is a taboo? Everyone kept clamouring for the main protagonist, Afi to persevere, collectively agreeing that society would blame the woman for a divorce.
The novel perfectly depicts how society can paint a bad picture of a person and many times, a woman, that doesn't conform to their impertinent norms.
Now to the good parts,
My rants aside, there are many aspects of His only wife by Peace Adzo that I loved.
I loved the display of Ghanaian culture. It was fun to read of a culture that is largely similar to mine but also invariably different. Besides, I enjoyed Peace Adzo's constant reference to Nigeria and Nigerians. It reiterates the sense of solidarity between African countries despite the bants.
I also applaud the character growth. I'm glad Afi was strong enough to grow from the naive village girl she was presented to be, to a young woman that stands up for herself.
The novel was quite humourous and I found myself smiling at more than a few sarcastic jokes despite how triggering the issue was for me.
Recommendation... Yay or Nay?
His only wife is a brilliantly written book and although I was furious the whole time, I enjoyed reading it. It deserves 4 out of 5 stars in my opinion which makes it a great read. My biggest takeaway is the importance of marrying someone that is not unreasonably tethered to their family.
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